My Sensual Life

Faking Explosive Orgasms - How Good are You?

I know there are split camps on this issue. Feminist viewpoint is clearly articulated as “if he doesn’t satisfy, tell him, or get rid of him or tell him and then get rid of him.” It’s not that simple, articulates the other view. Faking orgasm in a relationship is not always intended as a major deception. Sometimes it begins as a temporary measure or as in my friend Allison’s case (from her journal, not mine):

“When larry and I first met I didn’t want to disappoint him. I loved him a lot, he turned me on, and I was sure it was only a matter of days before I had an explosive orgasm. The trouble was, the days turned into weeks, then months. The orgasm never happened. How could I tell him I’d been pretending all along? I had to keep it up. Then, I began to feel resentful. “

Faking is more of a consequence than a cause, of sexual dysfunction. It’s more of a defense mechanism than a white lie. It doesn’t necessarily exaggerate the lack of openness or communication, it’s really a response to them.
My take is that the importance of a sense of control (over your own body, not another person) is what’s at stake here. By faking an orgasm, I can sometimes take the pressure off of myself by removing the anxiety I have over not having one. Why not have a little fun with it until I can relax sufficiently to make it happen. Communication becomes easier when it seems like a once-in-a-while occurrence. So, for some it may be an invaluable tool to your progress and it need not upset an otherwise loving and caring relationship.